Motherland: A Memoir of Love, Loathing, and Longing by Elissa Altman

Last weekend, my mother, sister and niece drove up from Los Angeles to visit me. My mother brought me quart of fresh split pea soup from Art’s Deli, a half a loaf of thinly sliced rye bread and a brand-new Calvin Klein purse she bought but happened not to like now. I felt extremely grateful for all three things, and the visit from my family. At times we laughed so hard during the weekend that we couldn’t catch our breath, as tears rolled down our eyes. I felt so close to my mom, which was not the case when I was a teenager. When I was younger, we fought so often that my dad was delegated to the role of referee. He told his secretary to accept any screaming phone calls from me that were made to the Paramount lot. Mother-daughter relationships can be complicated. Elissa Altman’s memoir “Motherland” explores the author’s relationship with her own mother Rita, a makeup-loving former television singer. Altman, an award-winning author and food writer, felt she had survived a turbulent childhood in the 1970s with her flamboyant mother, only to be rewarded by a loving, calm relationship in Connecticut with her wife of 20 years. Through time and therapy, Altman distanced herself from her mother and felt independent in the healthiest of ways. However, everything changes for the author when her mother takes a fall and becomes dependent on her daughter. Old wounds are opened as Altman struggles to address her mother’s caregiving and financial issues. One of my favorite writers Dani Shapiro said about this book, “Elissa Altman is a beautiful, big-hearted writer who mines her most central subject: her gorgeous, tempestuous, difficult mother and the terrain of their shared life. The result is a testament to the power of love and family.” The 15-year-old me would never have been able to co-write a book with my mother. Happily, we published “One Way Ticket To L.A.” in 2021, now available on Amazon. To buy Altman’s book on Amazon click here. And to buy my mom’s book on Amazon please click here.