“Our Souls at Night” by Kent Haruf

My daughter Charlotte, a senior one month away from graduating Northwestern University, is taking a class called Marriage 101: Building Loving and Lasting Relationships taught by Alexandra Solomon. On Tuesday, Charlotte interviewed me as part of an assignment for this class. She asked me a series of questions about my own marriages as well as romantic relationships, and asked me to offer any advice to her on how to forge successful partnerships. Ninety minutes into the interview, I found myself quite hoarse, so I guess that means I have a lot to say about love. Summarizing my advice to Charlotte I zeroed in on this: Find someone who appreciates you. Find someone who always has your back. Find someone who makes you laugh. And find someone who will drive you to your colonoscopy. Do not grow old alone, I told her. That advice brings me to this delightful little book “Our Souls at Night” by Kent Haruf. This was the author’s last novel published before he died at the age of 71. The story follows the tale of two 70-year-old widowers – Addie Moore and Louis Waters – and how their relationship develops after Addie proposes one day that they sleep together, not for sex, but just for companionship. We know any cute-meet like this one, no matter what age, is going to hopefully lead to more intimacy. And of course it does. Their relationship gets tricky when Addie’s grandson shows up on her doorstep, but when Louis jumps in to help with the boy, we love their relationship even more. This book is quite charming, but more than anything else it depicts an honest and real relationship between two people who have lived for seven decades on this planet. They are wise, but they also are guarded, and of course carry the traditional baggage that comes with age. After loving this book when I read it last year, I recently saw the movie version on Netflix starring none other than Jane Fonda and Robert Redford. At 80 and 81 years old respectively, I have to say these two actors still have the spark that I hope Jeff and I have at that age as well.  To purchase this book on Amazon click here.