Smile: The Story of a Face by Sarah Ruhl

My wise friend Sally told me about a poem called, “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley, which describes what is it is like to give birth to a child with a disability. The poem depicts a parent feverishly packing for a big trip to Italy, gathering guidebooks, restaurant recommendations, maps and useful information.  And then, abruptly, the plane begins its final decent into Italy, until the stewardess says ,“Welcome to Holland!” Holland is beautiful, but the parent is unprepared for Holland. As mothers of children with disabilities, the poem has been a touchstone for us. I was reminded of the poem while reading Sarah Ruhl’s book “Smile: The Story of a Face.” Ruhl, a playwright, professor and essayist, had a play opening on Broadway, a loving doctor-husband and a little girl at home, when she gave birth to boy-girl twins. Following the births, Ruhl was shocked to discover half her face paralyzed. Once a stroke was ruled out, the cause was undeniable: Ruhl had developed Bell’s palsy, an unexplained episode of facial muscle weakness. Doctors and family were quick to comfort Ruhl by telling her 90 percent of cases improve quickly, and recover fully. However, Ruhl soon found herself in the opposite 10 percent after the first year, and the second year and on into the third year as well. She busily tried to distract herself with her family and work, but she remained haunted by her inanimate face. The memoir finds her struggling to reconcile her feelings of sadness and loss with also acceptance and hope. She searches for answers from acupuncturists, chiropractors and neurologists but comes up empty handed. She can still write her true feelings on paper, but her face can no longer fully express her immediate emotions, feelings and reactions. “Smile” chronicles Ruhl’s quest to adjust and adapt to a change in plans, and it is beautifully and courageously well written. To buy this book on Amazon click here.