“When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi

I had a friend who lived to be 90 years old. She had a husband, children and career that brought her great joy. She had the whole enchilada. One day, a few months before she died, I asked her what her favorite age was. Without hesitating, she said “Fifty years old.” When I asked her why, she said it was an age when her children were grown and she and her husband lived alone, with plenty of time and money. I felt grateful to hear this, because as I entered my 50s I felt the same way. I felt finally happy and more at ease. “When Breath Becomes Air” is the story of a man who didn’t make it to the age of 50. It is the autobiography of Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon, who on the verge of completing his training was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at 36 years old. Life is not fair. Kalanithi should have lived and loved to 50 years old and beyond. But this is what we get, so we have to make the best of it, in order to make sense of the sadness and disappointment. My friend Page Victor recommended this book to me before it hit the “New York Times” best-seller list. Now it has found a cozy home on that list for the last 15 weeks. I think everyone should read this book. However, if you aren’t going to read this book, you should at least know what it is about, and why people across the country are reading it. At some point each one of us is going to have to deal with our own mortality. Kalanithi’s book is insightful and uplifting, rather than depressing and sad. It shows what is it like for a doctor to become a patient, for a man to become a father, and for a husband to say goodbye to his wife and parents. Kalanith made his wife, Lucy, promise she would publish this book after his death, and she kept her promise. We should all make space on our library shelves for his moving, and beautifully written story. I’m not obsessed about death. I’m just trying to find out more about it. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.