“Where The Light Gets In” by Kimberly Williams-Paisley

 We flew to Connecticut last week to celebrate the life of Sue Mackay Morris, Jeff’s mother, who died two weeks ago after a 13-year battle with Alzheimer’s. She was a devoted mother, an avid golfer and the author of a chocolate chip cookie recipe that is revered in her family. I was lucky enough to meet his mom several times, but unfortunately not before she had the disease. When I first met Jeff six years ago he told me his mom had Alzheimer’s, and later wrote his mom a letter saying that “My new girlfriend Lori hikes a lot and eats a lot of vegetables,” which was odd but quite accurate. He told me his mom had Alzheimer’s the first day we met in Mill Valley, and immediately I felt connected to him because my grandmother had had the disease as well. It is a cruel condition for any family to face because your loved one is right there in front of you, even free for you to hug, but their mind is a wooly mess of confusion and frustration. Throughout Sue’s disease, Jeff and his siblings supported, protected and loved their mother at an exemplary level, graciously managed by Jeff’s sister, Jen. “Where The Light Gets in,” by Kimberly Williams-Paisley, is book written by the film and television actress about her mother’s own struggle with a rare form of dementia called, Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA). Diagnosed at the ago of 61, her mother, at first, hid the disease from everyone but her husband and three children. But gradually, as the family learned more about the disease and its downward spiral, they shared the diagnosis with others in order to gain strength and support. Much like Alzheimer’s, PPA slowly and steadily robs the patient of words, skills and memories. The tension levels can run high inside both the patient and the family caring for their beloved. Such routine tasks such as driving a car, dressing one’s self and eating a simple meal can become a nightmare for the patient and their family.  This book, however, demonstrates that even in the face of a devastating disease, a family can bond together to face and share the inevitable conclusion. The outcome cannot be reversed but the commitment to each member of the family can be strengthened. My dad had this book sitting on his desk when he died two months ago. I borrowed it to read on the plane to Jeff’s mother’s funeral, and I’m glad I did. It reminded me how terrible things can happen to any family, and how important it is to rely on each other to help you heal and get through to the other side. To purchase this book on Amazon click here.