Every Family Has a Story by Julia Samuel

My friend Noelle now lives in London, and we try to talk on What's App every other Wednesday. One day she recommended this book, "Every Family Has a Story" by Julia Samuel. A bestselling psychotherapist in London, Samuel shares eight case studies of multi-generational families she has worked with over the years in her practice. What makes her therapy so fascinating is that she doesn't just meet with the family members individually. On the contrary, she brings them all together into group sessions, to try to teach them how to work together. The work is uncomfortable and messy for almost everyone involved. The issues in these families range from suicide and alcoholism, to same-sex couple adoption, to questions of paternity. What becomes quickly apparent is that family members often put up big road blocks to prevent them from working out their issues. Samuel  teaches them how to untangle their own wicked webs. She encourages open communication, setting boundaries, allocating time for fun, allowing change, and turning habits into rituals. I've never met a family who didn't have an issue, but after reading this book I came away with a new appreciation for how to bring about change. An excellent read for anyone interested in cracking a complex family issue or just a good read and glimpse into families trying to get along better. To buy this book on Amazon click here.

Chinese Groove: A Novel by Kathryn Ma

When I first moved to San Francisco from Chicago in the summer of 1989, everyone I met was not from the Bay Area. For years, out of all the people I met, only my friends Jay and Sally grew up in San Francisco and attended high school here. So for me, San Francisco was a town that welcomed immigrants. It wasn't always easy to make friends here, but once you made one it was a friend for life. "The Chinese Groove" by Kathryn Ma is the story of an 18-year-old immigrant boy named Shelley who moved to San Francisco from China, with big dreams. After his mother died, his grieving father helped Shelley raise enough money for a plane ticket to California. With the knowledge he had distant family in San Francisco, Shelley thought they would welcome him into their homes. Despite not having a job, and coming from a family with little clout, Shelly was optimistic because he believed he had the "Chinese Groove," a special and magical bond with his ancestors. This is a quirky book with an infectious plot, all set in our 7-miles-by-7 miles town. San Francisco might be small, but we are full of personal stories, and Shelley's is a winner. Thank you, native Sally, for this recommendation. So glad we still live in the 94118. To buy this book on Amazon click here.


What You Are Looking For is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama

When Jeff and I were in Tokyo in December, there was one thing we could not believe: how polite and kind everyone was. Yes, they also were wearing the nicest clothing we have ever seen, but underneath those designer suits, was a caring community. In a bout of confusion at the metro, when we tried to put the receipt into the ticket reader instead of the ticket, two separate people rushed to our aid to help. Two complete strangers offering help without being asked just because they are so kind. Tokyo is an amazing place, and our visit made me want to read more Japanese fiction. "What You are Looking For is in the Library" by Michiko Aoyama and translated by Alison Watts is an incredibly charming and thoughtful book. The premise is intriguing: Does a librarian have the power to recommend a book and change a person's life forever? In this case, the librarian is Sayuri Komachi, who has read every book, on every shelf, in her library.  She assesses all of her patrons and tries to pair them with the exact book that will suit them best. Set in the fictional neighborhood of Hatori, the library is a place that connects the residents to each other and the world. When Komachi asks each patron what they are looking for, she does not mean just for today but for the future and forever. Sweet, charming, thoughtful but with the absence of being overly saccharine, "What You Are Looking For is in the Library" Is a tribute to the gratitude and kindness of the people of Japan. They take the time to take care of themselves, as well as each other. Japan, I will be back one day, and I can't wait. To buy this book on Amazon click here.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham

For my 60th birthday in December, my brother sent me a list of the years I have been alive, paired with a book published in each year. When I saw the list, I thought, “What a lovely and thoughtful gift from Scott!” It was just like something my dad would have done. The list included some of my favorites, such as Helen Fieldings' "Bridget Jones Diary" and Joan Didion's "Play It as It Lays," and also this special book "The Hours" by Michael Cunningham. Inspired by the work and life of Virginia Woolf, "The Hours" gives us a glimpse into a day in the life of three women. Despite living in three different decades, the women are bonded by their quest to find meaning within one single day. The book, published in 1998, was made into a movie in 2002, with Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman. Searching for happiness, while also plagued by darker thoughts, the women weave their way through a single day, reflecting on the fragility of human life. Cunningham's book is both rich and haunting simultaneously. Recently Cunningham published a new book called "The Day." This time, instead of three women, Cunningham shifts his focus to observing a family, I assume all in one glorious day. I look forward to reading that book next. Thank you @actionpix To buy this book on Amazon click here.

 

The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama

The footage from the Rosalynn Carter's funeral last week was fascinating. There was a poignant speech by daughter, Amy, about the love between her parents. There was a warm and very funny speech by her grandson describing her sense of adventure and humor. And there were six first ladies sitting in the front row: Melania Trump, Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Hilary Clinton, and Jill Biden. This is probably the most diverse group of First Ladies, but the one I was watching was Michelle. She is just my favorite. I love her confidence. I love her style and I love her realness that can only be described as "bad ass." Her second book, "The Light We Carry" is just as good as her first book "Becoming." There is one take away in which I always marvel about Michelle: She had the best mother and father. Every story about them shines off the page. With parents like Marian and Fraser, it is no wonder Michelle is practical, no nonsense, and balanced. She shares stories and wisdom from her life as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and First Lady. We again hear her gems such as "starting kind," and "going high," but we also get to see her life after her time in the White House. She talks about how learning to knit during the pandemic brought her a calm peace of mind she had never experienced before. The book is a terrific read from beginning to end, and has a companion interview on Netflix with Oprah that brings the stories to life. To buy this book on Amazon click here.

The Cook by Maylis de Kerangal

It is beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving. The other day I came home from yoga to find my husband on the phone with his sister, Jen. They were engaged in a lively planning session about brussels sprouts, corn-dish, peas and mashed potatoes. I love any talk of food and recipes. So, this slight book "The Cook: A Novel" by Maylis de Kerangal jumped out at me from the library because of its tiny size and delicious looking cover. The book is a meditation and coming-of-age story of a young, self-taught chef named Mauro. Narrated by an unnamed female, who may or may not be in love with Mauro, we see the chef travel to Berlin, Thailand, Burma, and other spots over a 15-year-time span. We get a sense of the mundane, and the exhilaration, of what it is like to be a chef, working your way up in the profession. Despite the highs and lows we see Mauro come back time and again to his love of cooking, and passion for being a chef. This is a book that one can read in one afternoon, and then perhaps follow it up with the latest season of Hulu's "The Bear."  To buy this book on Amazon click here.